Archive for the ‘malaysian jokes’ Category

Sarawak’s Chief Minister relies on Black Magic to make decisions.

October 25, 2010

Taib Mahmud’s secret bomoh

Yakub Tufail, his father and the Ustaz
Sarawak Report can reveal that the aging Chief Minister of Sarawak, Abdul Taib Mahmud, relies on a personal witchdoctor, or so-called Bomoh, to make all key personal and government decisions!

The extraordinary state of affairs, which has remained a carefully guarded secret among his entourage for many years, has now been explained in detail by insiders.“He will always consult the Bomoh before he makes an important decision, like which minister to hire or fire, or which investments to make”, one senior politician has confided.

Black magic!

Another member of the inner circle, linked closely to the family, also described how one particular Bomoh (see right) had a ‘Rasputin-like’ hold over the superstitious Chief Minister for many years. This Bomoh died two years ago, shortly after the death of Taib’s wife Laila, and the 73 year old leader is said to be frantically searching for a new supernatural advisor, who he can trust to take him through the up-coming election period.

“He hired an interim Bomoh” one source explained, “but he clearly was not satisfied, as he has been going around Indonesia looking for a more powerful magician and he has just engaged a new one!”.

Bomoh’s are practitioners of ‘black magic’ and are widely condemned for exploiting simple people, who do not have access to modern science and education. Taib Mahmud’s dependence on such guidance can only be judged as unhealthy and malign.

read more here…

It is year 2010 and Malaysia’s Chief Ministers are still relying on Black Magic to rule and gain power……holy cow!

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A Successful Malaysian Chinese Begged to come back by Government.

August 28, 2010

This is a very good and
inspirational story of a motivated Chinese man in
Malaysia…..

Posted by Sii Hoi Chan, he lives
in Kenyalang

I was 18 in 1997, I came home
half completed my high school in England because my
father was bankrupted.
He was a contractor, bankrupted because the licensee,
Taib’s uncle defaulted on paying royalty to the
Government.  Pocketed all the money my father gave.

Taik Mahmud

Together with 6 of my friends we went to Komat in Sama
Jaya to look for jobs as they only required MCE. To
help out the family.

The HR lady was an Iban, on our turn she refused to
give us application forms and demanded our qualifications.
Without even understanding us, we were turned away. On
further enquiry from us, she said, the 250 posts were
all filled. It was 10.25 am and the application counter
just opened at 9.30 am. Asked the guard to show us out.
Komat repeated publication for the posts for another
week. We went back again and again were rejected. This
time she asked us to look for jobs in China.

My uncle promptly help the six of us to look for jobs
from his contacts. Ironically, we all ended up in
Shenzhen China, working in a micro circuit board plant.
We were trained by some American to be testers as we
know English. We did well, so well that within 4 years,
we developed a special test using Argon emission from
induced current. Testing the board even more thoroughly
and 40+ times the efficiency we were doing.

After a few months of trial, the company decided to
subcontract all their circuit board testing to us using
the new testing system and they got the test done at a
fraction of the cost doing it manually.

Within 3 years, we are testing all the circuit board of
all the companies in Shenzhen then.

BELIEVE ME, WE ARE EACH NETTING 2 TO 3 MILLIONS USD A YEAR.

We spread to include contracts in a lot of companies
of China, US, Germany and Finland.

We now employ 7600 people and 1600 from Sarawak. Bumiputra
or non-bumiputra who made the grade we are after.

Why I am writing this?

Today my company has been operating in Penang for 6
months. We are employing 200 people.

I was conducting interviews for senior staff for the jobs.

One of the people that came in for the interview was the
same Iban lady from Komat 10+ years ago. The lady who
turned me away. The lady who told me I was not eligible
for the job. The lady who told me the posts were filled
when yet to select the first applicant of 250 and the
lady who asked me to go to China to look for a job.

I had the satisfaction to tell her all these if I
wanted to. Instead I listened to all her talk about how
great she had done in her former employment and now she
was out on a huge VSS. How well she will do for me with
her experience and how much she would like to work for a
Chinese boss. She said she is the daughter of an
influential bumiputra man and her husband is doing
well in business. I let her rave on with her diatribe.

Finally, when she realised she the one doing all the
talking and I was not even asking questions, she
stopped.

Finally I said, I know her. She was shocked, for now I
was properly suited up and not in T-shirt and jeans
like the first time we met.

I simply said I like to thank her for asking me to go
back to China to look for work. I did, I made it and
what she is seeing today and the brochure I placed
infront of her is in fact the SUCCESS from disgust and
disappointment of being a Malaysian Chinese!!

She was murmuring to herself. I told her, she will get
a job from me but not as the senior HR, not as the
assistant HR but as an assistant to the assistant HR.
She was shocked, happy and almost cried. Then she
confessed that her husband was a bankrupt and her 3 children
had to be in the care of her sister.

I told her, she meant nothing to me, her race meant
nothing to me and what she had done also meant nothing
to me. The insults, the frustrations and the anguish of
a young man trying to help his father. I told her she
would be  treated like everyone. She must get her job
done or she’d be out like anybody. I told her, I do
not care for YBs, bumi policies or business
opportunities in Malaysia. I do not need Malaysia.

I CAME BECAUSE I AM BEGGED TO COME, …….BY THE GOVERNMENT
OF MALAYSIA.

Justin Hong

DPP vs Pornthip video goes online, finally!

August 26, 2010

Finally, a long waited video of the clown in court here in Malaysia.

Just for laugh….remember, laughter is the best medicine!


Justice in China vs Justice in Malaysia.

August 26, 2010

Sometimes we should not be talking too much of politics and just share with ourselves some good laugh. They always say laughter is the best medicine but i was wondering also if laughter can cure our headaches filled with gutter politics here in Malaysia.

In China, there was once upon a time a famous judge who was very well respected for all his judgement and prosecution on any crimes committed. Unlike in Malaysia, we have “kangaroos” giving out orders and judgements as though they are the King of the Jungles, thus making the people losing all their trust in Malaysian Courts. Some even have to leave the Country and self exile for the fear of being thrown in jail without trail at all. Even though he or she knows that even with a trail, he’ll be thrown in jail by the Judges whom are specially “picked” by just a phone call and everything will be…correct, correct, correct or to be corrected !!!

Below are the comparison of what Justice should be in Malaysia and China.

In China, they have the famous Justice Pao or “Pao Ching Thean”….

Top : Pao Ching Thean.

and in Malaysia, we should have this guy…….

Ka Pao Singh Thean

Ladies and gentleman, introducing KarPal Singh Thean ( formerly known as Pao Ching Thean)……Make sure you vote him in next GE!!!

thanks to a fellow blogger in FB who accidentally gives me this idea of Pao Ching Thean and KarPal Singh Thean…..”Thean” in mandarin means heavenly.

Exposed : UMNO using Islam for their political survival.

August 24, 2010

Another double standard treat by APNO or abused of Islam to “fitnah” Pakatan Rakyat’s government in Penang?

The Opposition party in Penang have been trying to use whatever they can grab to frame and smear the good Government of Penang under the charge of DAP’s CM Lim Guan Eng for the past weeks.

One such incident was a lonely Pak Ali who are not aware that his kampung was being demolish by the Federal Govt. and NOT the Penang Govt. If it was the Penang Government’s fault, i think it’s gong to be a huge demo instead of just 1 lonely man…..same as the chineseman who droused himself with “petrol” but forgot to bring along the lighter in Komtar and 2 so called “PAS men” who jumped in front of CM LGE’s car but was taken away or maybe being escorted home safely by the police.

yg mana satu halal dan haram?

Regards to the bacaan Doa using LGE’s name instead of the Agung’s was make a political issue by APNO and a couple of police reports have been made.

Najis "DOA" untuk seorang bukan Islam diMasjid.

I ask “Why the double standard?”….why didn’t they make a police reports against Najis the APNO PM for citing the same thing on an Indian candidate for the P094 Hulu Selangor by-election?

See how APNO have to use the Islamic Religion to hide their crazed for power and to win back Penang but due to the fact that melayu mudah lupa, they forgot that the did pray or “Doa” for a Non-Muslim in Hulu Selangor too.

Like the Malays use to say “Ibarat seperti meludah keLangit, kemudian terkena muka sendiri”….ha ha ha

Read the full report here.

MACC removes ‘offensive’ blog post attacking Dr Pornthip

August 23, 2010

KUALA LUMPUR, Aug 23 — The Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission (MACC) was forced today to remove from its oficial blog an offensive posting describing Thai forensic expert Dr Pornthip Rojanasunand as a fortune teller, and which the DAP said was prejudicial to the Teoh Beng Hock inquest.

The blog at ourdifferentview.com had posted an article entitled “Dr Porntip Ahli Nujum?” (Dr Porntip a Fortune-Teller), complete with an altered picture of Dr Pornthip as a gypsy fortune teller gazing into a crystal ball.

The MACC’s “Dr Pornthip a Fortune-Teller?” blog post, which was taken from an anonymous blog at http://www.imrite.wordpress.com, accused Dr Pornthip of being hired by the Selangor government to testify just to “inflame the rakyat’s anger”.

“The article is prejudicial to the on-going inquest and is a clear attempt to disclaim any responsibility and prevent the discovery of the truth behind Teoh Beng Hock’s death at MACC’s premises,” DAP national publicity secretary Tony Pua told The Malaysian Insider today.

“The use of an anonymous post to make baseless allegations against the credibility of Dr Pornthip is an offensive tactic by MACC to cover up its own mess,” he added.

The national anti-graft body’s official blog at http://www.ourdifferentview.com was launched in May this year to fight negative public perception since the mysterious death of Teoh, a DAP political aide, at MACC’s Selangor headquarters in Shah Alam last July.

MACC deputy chief commissioner (Prevention) Datuk Hajah Sutinah Sutan had cited the abundance of “gossip and inaccurate information” about the agency as the reason for launching their blog, Facebook page, and Twitter micro-blogging account this year.

The anti-graft body took down the “Dr Porntip Ahli Nujum?” post shortly after The Malaysian Insider requested an explanation on why they posted articles from anonymous blogs.

MACC’s corporate communications director however could not be reached for comment.

“If you (MACC) have something to say, say it in court in front of us,” said the lawyer.

read more here.

How many times must the MACC shamed Malaysia?

A “Hajjah” Racist – Principle in school?

August 17, 2010

Photo of this racist “Hajjah” Siti Ishak bte Mansor.

 

Left : The Racist "Hajjah"

 

KULAIJAYA: Police are investigating a school principal who allegedly used racist remarks against non-Malay students during a Merdeka celebration at the school here recently.

 

Kulaijaya deputy OCPD Asst Supt Mohd Kamil said police had received 12 reports against the principal since Saturday and that the case was being investigated under Section 504 of the Penal Code.

Over 50 parents and students had lodged the reports against the principal, who allegedly described the non-Malays as “penumpang” (passengers) in the country during her speech at the start of the celebration on Aug 12.

“I was shocked that my principal had used such a word against non-Malay students in our school.

“This is not the first time that she had made racist comments against Chinese and Indian students in our school,” said 17-year-old student Brevia Pan.

She added that the principal, who joined the school early this year, would only target Chinese and Indian students.

“During the Merdeka celebration, she had told non-Malay students to go study in a Chinese school or go back to China,” she told reporters in a press conference organised by Senai assemblyman Ong Kow Meng.

Another student, Ashvini Thi-na karan, 17, said many Malay students were influenced by the principal’s remarks and made similar comments and called them names.

“Before she came to my school, all the students got along well,” she said. Her father R. Thinakaran, 47, said this was a serious matter and that principals should not behave like this.

“This principal has caused racial disharmony at the school,” he said, adding that if no action was taken, he would take his daughter out of the school.

Ong called for stern action against the principal, adding that such school heads and educators would affect the minds of students.

 

is she really a "Hajjah"?

police report lodged in Kulai, Johore by the students.

 

police report

We need more people like this “Hajjah” in Johore or rather the whole of Malaysia to help Pakatan Rakyat to win votes for the next GE which will be crucial for our next generation’s education.

Do you really want a “Hajjah” like this to educate our children?

If NOT then vote wisely next GE.

 

 

A “Malay” name Pig in Malaysia.

August 15, 2010

Tee bin Abdullah (Tee = Pig in Hokkien)

KUALA LUMPUR, Aug 15 — Controversial Mingguan Malaysia columnist Dr Mohd Ridhuan Tee Abdullah continued his weekly diatribe against non-Malays, saying today that minorities who cannot respect the special position of Islam and the Malays should return to their homeland.

The Muslim convert also sneered that Malaysia should be renamed “Cinasia” or “Indiasia” if every demand by non-Muslims was accommodated when commenting on Centre for Policy Initiatives (CPI) columnist Helen Ang’s recent piece “Enforcing NEP on minority religions.”

“Will the practice of prayer (doa) cause the heart of the non-Muslims to melt and embrace Islam? She really (Helen Ang) hates Islam. Prayer (doa) is part of the Malay Muslim culture.

“Why would we want to delete all of our identity for merely wanting to accommodate others. If that’s the case, just change the name of Malaysia to Cinasia or Indiasia. How strange it is this species, never cease trying to challenge the position of Islam and Malays,” he wrote in his Sunday column headlined “Jangan terlalu berani mencabar” (Don’t be so brave to challenge).

In her piece, Ang questioned why non-Muslim religious societies were banned in national schools.

Ang added that the restriction on non-Muslim fellowship in schools has stopped many Chinese parents from sending their children to national schools.

“If I were a mother, I would never wish to subject my vulnerable child to a bellicose environment where my race, and the traditions and faith beliefs I’ve imparted to my son or daughter are disparaged,” she said.

In response, Tee said that the country does not want Ang’s children, whether legal or illegitimate, a favourite line he continually implies about the Chinese.

“She does not need to send her ‘children’ (if any were legitimate) to national school, if she is not confident with the national school or she is scared that her ‘children’ will become Malays. Her ‘children’ are not needed here.

“Just send her ‘children’ to schools in her homeland or overseas. The presence of ‘children’ are not needed here,” he said in a personal attack on Ang, who has also had two police reports lodged against her over her article.

Tee also said that Ang should migrate to the West if she is obsessed with their culture.

“I suggest that she migrate to another country, if this country does not provide her with any freedom. She should go to her country of origin or to the West because there is more ‘freedom’ there to build the biggest church and the highest statue in the world and have vernacular schools as well as having free sex.

“I do not think that she is proud of her ancestors because she prefers to use a white man’s name even though her eyes are sepet,” he said.

Tee stressed that non-Muslims should be grateful because the Malays have been very tolerant.

Read more here.

Tee's ancestors grave.

Tee means “pig” in Hokkien dialect (no pun intended) it leaves one wondering when this Malaysian Chinese convert is more Malay than the Malays when one converts to a Muslim in Malaysia, another fine example from the Indian Muslim from Kerala.

I wonder if he still goes back to his parents home to celebrate Chinese New Year? or maybe his parents have left this country for China already?

read here …..an open letter to Tee

read here.….TEE’S REVERSE TAKE ON RACISM.

Unlawful Police or Citizen?

August 3, 2010

Well ISA was to many right thinking People and Muslims are “HARAM” according to Muslims, any person jailed without trial is against the Islamic teaching. Thus making the Rakyat “MARAH” when spelled backwards.

What about those people who supported ISA? Are they really practising what they preach? We have read many cases of people being thrown into Kamunting without giving them a trial or chance to defend themselves in this so called “democratic” Country like Malaysia. Families being broken, children being deprived of their father and neighbours who are not aware that it is this “draconian Law” that their neighbour are jailed and are NOT criminals and shy away from being friendly to his children and family. Some even labelled this people “criminals” when they knew that their fathers were actually spending time in jail because of ISA.

Remembered very well that the former Home Minister even have the cheek to tell us that they are thrown in Kamunting for their own “protection”. He was even voted in as an MP in Johore and i wonder what is his voters think about him or maybe they voted without thinking or being blinded by money?

Why NOT the police allow these peaceful people to spend just 15-20 minutes for this peaceful candle light vigil? BUT they chose to rough it out with these peaceful people for hours and until the next day as though our streets are basically “crime free”.

If they do that, many will thanked them and thus will slowly but surely gain back the trust of the People.

But too bad, because of some politicians, they have to act upon orders given by the higher “authorities” and when asked they themselves are in a blank or dare not even disclose who gave them the order.

Police force in Malaysia should not use the word “Diraja” which really bring shame to the Royalties without knowingly they are infact “raja DiJalan” arresting candle wielding people, people wearing black or yellow Tees BUT those parading cow head on the street are just fined rm1000.00 and even 4 pleaded NOT guilty were released without further questioning.

That is how brave and loyal our police force were sworn in to do in Malaysia.

Malaysians choice…money or this?

August 1, 2010

Time flies, it’s August now and this month Muslims of all races will be fasting from the 11th onwards and Malaysians will be also celebrating at the end of the month for their 53rd National day…..Merdeka Day.

What if you, as a Malaysian, you were  given a choice to choose from the two items below…….which will you choose?

Ask yourself sincerely and choose the items you think will give you more satisfaction.

This?

OR

This?

Answer :

1)  Money : You are APNO/BN’s supporter.

2) The other : You are a fighter for Pakatan Rakyat.

3) BOTH : You are a REAL Malaysian.

Take the money cos it is our money then vote them OUT cos they do not care about the People and the Country. If we have a better choice why not? This was proven in the last General Election where many take the money and vote them out…..we can do it again next election and this time the result should be better.

Do you and your future generation wants to live in a fair and well managed Country with less if not non-corrupted ministers?